"Flirting, or Sexual Harassment?

Flirting, or Sexual Harassment?
Welcome or Unwelcome?
Behavior that is enjoyed or welcome, such as two students enjoying "flirting" with each other, is not sexual harassment.
"Unwelcome" is a key determinant in whether or not behavior constitutes sexual harassment or not. To quote the U.S. Department of Education, "Conduct of a sexual nature is unwelcome when the student being harassed did not request or invite the conduct and regarded it as offensive or undesirable."

There are situations where it is obvious and reasonable (to most people) that behavior is unwelcome (offensive verbal taunting, physical grabbing -- again, of a sexual nature). But there are also situations where it may not be so obvious.
For Example
Julie no longer wants to date John and has told him so.

John, however, continually behaves as if they are still dating. He phones her for dates. In the halls at school he comes up to her and touches Julie in ways that are no longer welcomed by her. John is really making a pest of himself!
John may be unaware because of their past relationship that what he is doing is really not welcomed by Julie; but he had better catch on soon!

John's conduct is affecting Julie's ability to participate or learn at school. John's behavior, because it is sexual in nature and is repeated and not wanted, is SEXUAL HARASSMENT. A "hostile environment" exists in which Julie no longer feels safe.

Examples of Sexual Harassment
These are all examples of sexual harassment. Behaviors like these can create a school environment that feels threatening or unsafe and can interfere with a student's ability to participate or learn. Hostile environment sexual harassment can come from a teacher or other school official, but most often it comes from fellow students.
Sexual comments about your body
Sexual advances/propositions/suggestions
Sexual touching
Sexual graffiti
Sexual gestures
Sexual "dirty" jokes
Spreading rumors about other students' sexual activity
Touching oneself in a sexual fashion in front of others
Talking about one's own sexual activities in front of others
Showing offensive/sexual pictures, stories, objects
Sexual Harassment affects all women in some form or the other. Lewd remarks, touching, wolf-whistles, looks are part of any woman?s life, so much so that it is dismissed as normal. Working women are no exception. In fact, working women most commonly face the backlash to women taking new roles, which belong to male domains within patriarchy. Sexual Harassment at work is an extension of violence in everyday life and is discriminatory, exploitative, thriving in atmosphere of threat, terror and reprisal.
Sexual harassment is all about expression of male power over women that sustain patriarchal relations. It is used to remind women of their vulnerability and subjugated status. In a society where violence against women, both subtle and direct, is borne out of the patriarchal values operating in society, force women?s conformity to gendered roles. These patriarchal values and attitudes of both men and women pose the greatest challenge in resolution and prevention of sexual harassment.
Studies find that sexual harassment is still endemic, often hidden, and present in all kinds of organisations. Yet it is still not always viewed as a problem, which has to be systematically tackled. The issue is of concern for both women and the employers as studies show that sexual harassment touches lives of nearly 40-60% of working women.
Thus, combating sexual harassment involves developing understanding of what is sexual harassment and change of attitudes in all- be it employees, colleagues, friends, administrators, employers or the law makers.
• Federal law defines sexual harassment as:
• Unwelcome sexual advances
• Requests for sexual favors
• Other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when
o submission to such conduct is made explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual's employment or academic success or
o submission to or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment or academic decisions affecting such individuals or
o the conduct has the purpose or effect of unreasonably interfering with an individual's work or academic performance or creating an intimidating, hostile, or sexually offensive working environment.
Examples of sexual harassment include:
• Uninvited touching or hugging
• Requesting sexual favors for rewards related to school or work
• Suggestive jokes of a sexual nature
• Sexual pictures or displays
• Continuing unwelcome flirtation or propositions
• Obscene gestures or sounds
• Written notes of a sexual nature
Sexual harassment typically falls into 2 categories: quid pro quo and hostile environment. Quid pro quo harassment occurs when a professor or staff member causes a student to believe that he or she must submit to unwelcome sexual conduct or risk a negative academic outcome. For example, if a professor tells a student that s/he will not pass a course unless requests for sexual favors are granted, this is known as "quid pro quo" sexual harassment. This type of sexual harassment usually involves a situation where one person has more power than the other person.
Hostile environment harassment occurs when unwelcome sexually harassing conduct is so severe, persistent or pervasive that it affects a student's ability to participate in University activities or creates an intimidating, threatening or abusive educational environment. If a supervisor (or coworker or fellow student) makes sexual jokes, obscene gestures and/or posts sexual pictures that make people uncomfortable, this is called "hostile environment" sexual harassment.
It is important to understand that any type of sexual harassment can be blatant or it can be very subtle. It can take the form of one serious incident or more subtle acts that continue over time. Sexual harassment can be intentional or unintentional.
What can I do to prevent sexual harassment?

It is important to be aware that sexual remarks or physical conduct of a sexual nature may be offensive or can make some people uncomfortable even if you wouldn't feel the same way yourself. Follow these guidelines to help avoid making someone else uncomfortable:
• Do not repeat behavior if you have been told that it is not wanted. If you are in doubt, stop the behavior.
• Ask if something you do or say is being perceived as offensive or unwelcome. If the answer is yes, stop the behavior.
• Do not interpret someone's silence as consent. Look for other nonverbal signals.
• Do not retaliate if someone accuses you of sexual harassment. Retaliation is against the law and is considered an additional or separate offense.
How do I help a friend?
• It's important to take what your friend says seriously. Experiencing sexual harassment can be confusing and difficult to sort out. Providing a sympathetic ear will help your friend feel understood.
• Learn as much as you can about the available resources. It may be difficult for your friend to take the first step to talk to someone. You can call any of the resources and discuss the situation without identifying the people involved or filing a formal complaint. Gathering this information for your friend can help them make the best decision for their situation.
• Don't confront the harasser. Although it is normal to want to do this, it may only make things worse for your friend.
• Encourage your friend to save any physical evidence, including notes, pictures and emails. If your friend decides to file a complaint at some point, this evidence will be very important.
• If you are a residence hall staff member, be sure to follow your reporting protocols.
• It's important to recognize that hearing about your friend's situation could affect you in many different ways. Taking care of yourself will enable you to provide your friend with better support.
Fighting Sexual Harassment
Use the law and your employer's complaint procedures to protect yourself from on-the-job harassment.
In legal terms, sexual harassment is any unwelcome sexual advance or conduct on the job that creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive working environment. In real life, sexually harassing behavior ranges from repeated offensive or belittling jokes to a workplace full of offensive pornography to an outright sexual assault. It can happen to men and women, gay or straight -- in other words, sexual harassment is an equal opportunity offense.
Fortunately, there are state and federal laws that protect workers from sexual harassment on the job. These are the same laws that protect workers from discrimination based on gender. At the federal level, Title VII of the Civil Rights Act forbids harassment. In addition, most states have their own fair employment practices laws that prohibit sexual harassment, many of them more strict than the federal law.
If you are being sexually harassed at work, there are a number of things that you should do to protect yourself.
Tell the Harasser to Stop
Initially, you can try telling the harasser to stop. Although this confrontation may be difficult for you, it is often the most effective way of dealing with harassment. You're more likely to be successful if the harassment hasn't gone beyond things like off-color jokes, inappropriate comments about your appearance, or tacky cartoons posted onto the office refrigerator.
Clearly saying you want the offensive behavior to stop is important, because it lets the harasser know that the behavior is unwelcome (which it must be in order to meet the legal definition of sexual harassment). It is also a crucial first step if you later decide to take more formal action against the harasser.